The Sex Toy Bonanza episode of Sex on the Brain with Amory Jane is finally here!In this extra special (and hilarious) 90 minute episode, sex toy experts Epiphora, Dirty Lola, and Amory Jane drink mimosas and go through Epiphora’s bag of unique sex toys. They also swap stories, offer shopping ideas for the holidays, talk about sex toy classics (like the Njoy Pure Wand and Magic Wand) and definitely don’t hold back on which sex toys (and companies) leave something to be desired.
Episode 5 is chock full of snark and silliness and is a fun listen for sex toy connoisseurs, retailers, and reviewers, as well as those who just want the inside scoop on the wide and often weird world of sex toys!
Or, you know, pop in some headphones and listen from work. It’s available here or on the go with iTunes and Stitcher.
Amory Jane reveals her true feelings about Mary Jane and shares some of her sexydorky very honest cannabis experiences with the show’s guests. She interviews Devan Anthony from Luminous Botanicalsabout running a cannabis business, getting high, the healing powers of CBD, and cannabis for sensual use. On the second half of the show, Ashley Mantasmashes stoner stereotypes andtalksabout cannasexuality and how she came to be The Cannasexual. Plus, Amory Jane and Ashley geek out on hand jobs, terpenes, and cannabis lubricant.
Up until a couple of weeks ago, I thought I had made a really stupid choice to leave a great position at a great company (where I made a living wage) to follow my passions and become a (mega poor) full-time Sex Educator Extraordinaire. Lately my risks have seemed a little more like they are paying off though. I’m getting booked all over the place, selling out classes and shows, getting thousands of downloads on the podcast, and finally feeling more like a part of the community.
With the depression and anxiety I felt after the election, I almost gave up on my dream. I didn’t have to energy to actually do it, but I thought about looking for a “regular person job.” Then, and I don’t know exactly what happened or how, a couple days ago I broke open and a lot of grief rushed out. Then energy to move forward and kick some ass settled in. It’s like I got a giant slap in the face, but I am not complaining.
Anyway, thank to all of you supportive wonderful people who encouraged me to keep going. I’m not very good at being my own cheerleader, but your combined forces showed so much belief in me that maybe I finally started believing it too.
It’s time for Sex on the Brain with Amory Jane’s Spanksgiving Special! This episode is about impact play and BDSM and features on air spankings for your educational benefit and auditory pleasure. Check it out here or listen to it on the go with iTunes and Stitcher!
Certified Intimacy Educator Stella Harrisshows us what’s in her toy bag and demonstrates proper spanking and hitting techniques on everyone in the studio. We also have an up close and personal interview with an experienced spanking bottom – sex educator Gretchen Leigh.
Episode 2 of Sex on the Brain with Amory Jane is here, and this week’s episode is all about porn! Check it out here or listen to it on the go with iTunes and Stitcher!
Performer/writer/wrestler Andre Shaktijoins the show from California to talk about the porn industry and why Californians should vote no on Prop 60. Model and queer porn performer, Valentine, tells us about her sexy adventures at Berlin Porn Film Festival and has an intimate conversation with Amory Jane and Intern Courtney about pornography, body image, Germany, and being slutty. They also share their favorite types of smut, what they like about queer and feminist porn, plus Amory Jane and Valentine go into detail on what it was like to create films for HUMP! Film Festival.
Whoopee!: A Sex-Positive Variety Show will be premiering at Crush Bar in Portland on December 4th! Whoopee will be produced and hosted by sex educator Amory Jane. It is a two hour show with a variety of acts performed by local talent, and the theme is that all acts must be sex-positive, body-positive, and/or about human sexuality.
We’re looking for comedians, burlesque and belly dancers, monologues, mini sex ed lessons, musicians, storytellers, poets, and more. Acts should be between 2-15 minutes in length. Amory Jane will be holding auditions by appointment 11/13-11/19. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment time. Tickets for the show go on sale November 4th through www.brownpapertickets.com and may also be found on this page starting November 4th.
I’ve been talking about it for a while, but today it is a reality – I have a podcast! It’s called Sex on the Brain with Amory Jane.
Sex on the Brain with Amory Jane is a geeky, feminist take on sex, kink, and culture. This new sex-positive podcast will be released every other Thursday and will cover a variety of topics, such as porn, non-monogamy, BDSM, gender, and sex in pop culture.
Our first episode is all about sex-positive entertainment and features comedian Bri Pruett, hip hop group Bomb Ass Pussy, Intern Courtney, Sound Engineer Mat, and of course me, your host, Amory Jane.
Now that things are settling down after the end of my tour, moving into a new home, and my hit and run accident, I’m excited to share details about my time at kink camp!
Boundless is a four-day kink retreat located at a beautiful private resort about 2.5 hours north of San Francisco. Boundless 2016 took place September 30-October 3 and I was lucky enough to be awarded a scholarship to attend. My partner, Matias, also joined me there (and it was his first time going to a kink camp as well).
I first heard about Boundless when we received some of their promotional posters/fliers at She Bop. I had missed a few kinky camp out events earlier in the summer when I was traveling the country in my sex ed mobile, so I was glad to see something scheduled for early Fall when I was at the end of my tour. The Boundless website said that the cost was $335 for the full weekend and covered all meals and workshops, which didn’t seem like a bad price. Still, it was out of my budget, especially if my partner and I were both going to attend, so I almost just closed my laptop and moved on… until I noticed something in fine print about offering a scholarship for sex educators.
Good thing I got my eyes lasered to perfection in 2009 and can read the tiny font at the bottom of a website.
I sent an email to the organizer, James, asking him about the scholarship application, and he sent back a friendly response encouraging me to apply. I answered a few questions in essay format (I always nailed the essay portion of my tests in school) and was feeling pretty good about my chances of being accepted. Sure enough, James got back to me a few days later offering me the scholarship, which covered all costs of the retreat, including a camping spot! He even said I was the exact candidate they were hoping would apply. Sweet!
When the time came to head to camp, I made sure to pack everything I thought I would need: a tent and lots of blankets, condoms, lube, edibles, a couple of my favorite sex toys, and lingerie. I also overpacked cute summer camp clothes and underpacked clothes that would keep me warm, which means I ended up spending the majority of the time in one pair of fleece-lined leggings and an extremely unsexy sweater. Next time I will remember that California + “summer camp” does not equal warm and dry. I mean, it was October and we were north of San Francisco, (and I’m always cold), so I should really have known I couldn’t survive only wearing a corset and my Sasha harness. Plenty of other people there managed to be comfortable in their kinkiest costumes, sexiest lingerie, and completely nude though. Maybe handling cold temperatures with a smile is a special skill reserved for masochists, which I very much confirmed I wasn’t over the course of that weekend.
More on that later.
Matias and I spent a good portion of our drive to the retreat discussing our boundaries, desires, and concerns. We both wanted to primarily play with each other but were open to making connections, we wanted to learn/practice new skills, and we wanted to sample kinky things we hadn’t yet had a chance to try. We had been to plenty of play parties, BDSM events, kink nights, munches, and sex workshops during our 2+ years together, but never an overnight camp or a multi-day event that wasn’t a conference. I had also attended sex clubs and swingers parties while in a previous relationship and am part of a femme fisting coven, so I love kinky spaces and feel comfortable with consensual sex happening all around me. Still, a kink retreat would be a new experience and neither of us really knew what to expect.
After a long (but beautiful) Autumn drive through Southern Oregon and Northern California, we found ourselves driving alongside a large freshwater lake called Clear Lake. We knew we were close and speculated what kind of welcoming committee would be at the camp. Would people already be walking around naked or clad in latex and leather? Would we show up presenting as the most vanilla people there? Turns out, we were fairly accurate with our hypotheses. As we pulled in, there were some people hanging out wearing little to no clothing, some people in Boundless crop tops, and one gentleman wearing stilettos that were chained together and a very frilly tutu. We were in hoodies and jeans with beanies on our heads. We looked very much like we were from Oregon. Still, we were greeted with a wave and a smile and the volunteers helped us figure out where to park our car and set up camp.
After putting up our tent, we went into the main lodge for dinner. There were at least 50 other people there, from all walks of life, and most of them were already sitting down to eat. Meatloaf and veggies were on the main menu, along with vegan options and gluten free pasta. The food all weekend was really good, and they always had snacks available. As a person who needs to eat every few hours, it was a relief, and it helped me stay fueled for all of the workshops and sex adventures. While we mostly took in everything around us and kept to ourselves during dinner, we got out of our shells more during the opening address and formal mocktail party. Matias and I volunteered to walk around with drink trays and offer tasty beverages to attendees, which took me back to my days as a cocktail server, except for that instead of serving hipsters at a karaoke dive bar, this time I was serving kinksters in their finest fetish gear. I also helped get a sexy lady into her corset, which I had never done before, and it turns out it is only sort of like lacing up a pair of boots. Definitely more tugging and gasping and overflowing cleavage. It wasn’t an easy task for a first timer, but I have zero complaints.
After the opening address, which included info about the weekend and a talk about consent and dungeon rules, Sinclair Sexsmith presented a fun and interactive icebreaking workshop called Flirting Dirty. We got to practice being turned down and saying no, negotiating boundaries, and asking folks if they wanted to play. I was paired up with the stranger sitting in front of me, who had a completely opposite flirting style, and that was sort of eye opening. He was telling me about how he’ll just say hello and start a nice mild conversation that is not at all sexually charged, and I appreciated his low pressure approach. However, it was in stark contrast to my approach, which is usually more like, “We seem to be checking each other out, which is cool. I really like your nose and I would be down to ride your face if you’re interested.”
That was only the beginning of eye opening things I discovered and/or reaffirmed about myself that weekend.
After the flirting event, Matias and I stayed in the Heart Lodge as they transformed it into the dungeon/play space. Multiple spanking benches, sex swings, St Andrew’s Crosses, rope suspension areas, massage tables, and mattresses for the floor were set out. There were also towels, wet wipes, condoms, gloves, and extra sheets. Hooray for a well-equipped dungeon!
We spent most of that first night hanging back and observing. We snuggled and made out on a floor mat while watching people get whipped, tied up, and fucked. We talked about what turned us on, what didn’t seem like our cup of tea, and what we were curious about trying. We listened to the sounds of a woman riding a Sybian while giving her partner a blowjob, watched some artful Florentine flogging, and took in all of the hedonism that filled the room. Eventually we realized that we were exhausted from the long drive, and went back to our tent to have a quickie and pass out for the night.
I slept on an under-inflated air mattress and woke up in the middle of the night to baby deer prancing around on the tarp right outside of our tent (which was adorable, but kind of scary to hear at first, since we were in the woods also surrounded by bears). Still, even with a bad night of sleep, I woke up on time for breakfast and attended a workshop called “How to Be a Successful Male Submissive.” I found myself nodding my head on most things, disagreeing on a few points here and there, and generally daydreaming of a harem situation where an assortment of submissive men serve me and worship my body whenever I snap my fingers.
That first workshop put enough ideas in my head that I decided to skip the second one to go back to the tent with my boyfriend. After a few orgasms, we fell asleep and accidentally napped through lunch. Fortunately, we woke up with enough time to find leftovers before the next session. That session was the Heart Centered Needle Pull and it seemed to be getting a lot of attention around camp from nervous but curious attendees who wanted to know what it was like to be pierced in the chest and connected to a pulling cord while ecstatic frenzy was being whipped up all around us. The Boundless website describes the Heart Centered Needle Pull like this:
Join a community ritual to open our heart centers and bring us closer together as mindful individuals. Facilitated by Fakir Musafar and Cleo Dubois, variations of this ritual have been used for centuries by Native Americans (the Sun Dance) and other cultures as a way to develop mind/body awareness and connection with others.
The ritual consists of an invocation and invitation for traditional sources of spirit and our own higher selves to join us in creating an ecstatic state. Each participant will be safely pierced in their heart Chakra with two small needles by Fakir or Cleo and attached by a sterilized cord to a common point. Music, chanting and drumming will then propels us to ecstasy. Sound interesting?
If you join this ritual you will be guided every step of the way by experts who have facilitated this ritual for over 30 years in the USA, Canada, England, Portugal, and Italy.
We were “cleansed” with sage as we walked through the doorway into the dungeon, which had been converted again into a new type of space. This time there was a horizontal pole in the center of the room with many cords hanging from it, a very large suspended gong, and tables filled with unopened boxes of sterile gloves and needles. We took off our shoes and found a seat, facing a person who appeared to be in his late sixties (it was Fakir Musafar and it turns out he is 87). Then, after everyone else finished walking through the door, Cleo joined Fakir at the front and they proceeded to tell us about the history of the ritual and what to expect.
Matias was definitely nervous, but I was feeling incredibly calm about the whole thing. Piercing has never bothered nor scared me and I had read enough to know about the possible risks and about the incredible strength of human skin. I was ready.
We stood in line and waited our turn to get pierced. Fakir was using hooks on the more advanced campers and Cleo was piercing those of us who were new to the ritual with 22 gauge needles. With each new participant, she had an assistant help her put on a fresh pair of gloves and she would pinch the skin (above the breasts, below the collarbone) and slide the needles through. On my turn I took a deep breath and looked at Cleo’s face as she pierced me. The first needle went through perfectly but the second one went through a little too easily and poked her finger as it came out of the other side. She immediately started gushing blood, even through the gloves, and I could tell this was something that didn’t usually happen. I felt bad that she was hurt, but I wasn’t freaked out, and it didn’t have any sort of negative impact on my piercing experience. After getting cleaned up and bandaged, she put a small carabiner at the end of my string loop and I felt the weight of it gently pull at my skin. Matias was pierced next (he did really well), and then we walked together to the room’s center point to connect our carabiners to the hanging cords that we would use to pull ourselves.
Music swelled around me, the smell of incense was strong in the air, there were people (who weren’t pierced) drumming and dancing, and the rest of us (who were pierced) were leaning back with the skin on our chests stretched out. It was like a mini suspension, but both feet were on the ground, and as the music grew faster and louder, many of my fellow campers started having stronger responses. Some had their eyes rolling back in ecstasy, some were swaying to the music or testing their bodies. A couple of people were crying in a way that you could tell they were releasing something more than just tears. I pulled harder and focused on the feeling, hoping to also feel something powerful or release grief, but I couldn’t feel any adrenaline running through me. All I felt was a tugging, a very literal tugging. It wasn’t a bad feeling by any means, but no matter what I did, my body just stayed very neutral and I didn’t feel anything strong or spiritual. I even unhooked from the main point after a while and hooked my carabiner to Matias’ carabiner and had us both pull back and stare into each other’s eyes. Matias kept breaking eye contact when his eyes would roll back into head, but it still felt very bonding, very novel and was a unique experience to share. However, I admit I was slightly disappointed that my body just wouldn’t get into the intense energy around me. Empath-types are supposed to feel all of the energies, right? – that’s what normally happens to me in crowds – but this time I just felt the most basic sensations in my body without any sort of energy rush. It was curious, and not the only time something like that happened to me that weekend.
My favorite part of the ritual was when a percussionist was dominating the room with the sounds of the hammered gong and Cleo was going around and whacking our tautly pulled strings with a cane so that the vibrations were sent into our chests. She also used a vibrating sex toy against the strings for the same purposes, and I enjoyed the rumbling and shaking sensation. Of course I did. Because I love vibration in pretty much all of the ways it comes to me.
I also enjoyed coming down after the ritual, watching people sort of float back into their bodies and then have their needles removed. Matias and I were some of the last to have our needles taken out, and the twenty minutes or so that we sat quietly waiting for that to happen were some of the best moments of the afternoon for me. Hearing about what the experience was like for him and watching his eyes light up as he talked about it made me feel very happy that I was attending Boundless with a partner. Even if my body has a hard time with adrenaline production or I am sometimes too much of a control freak to stop my observation mode and fully let myself go, at least I was experiencing new things, learning a lot, and feeling closer to someone I loved.
That night in the dungeon, Matias and I were both flogged (at separate times) on a St. Andrew’s cross by a trained professional with a very extensive set of hitting implements. There were leather floggers made from different animal hides (deer, elk, rabbit, buffalo, etc.), skinny whips, rubber toys, and a few items I had never seen in person. It was an impressive collection…but you’ll have to wait to hear about our flogging adventures on my next post.
My First Time at Kink Camp: Part 2 will be all about our second and third nights in the dungeon, what it’s like to be on edibles at a kink retreat, what I learned about mental health at the workshops I took on day 3, and my newfound love for sex swings. Stay tuned!
Content note: This post describes a minor auto accident with vehicle damage (but no gruesome injuries).
On the night of October 5th, as I was driving home from the store to my new apartment, I was in an automobile accident. It was dark and pouring rain and I had a few IKEA boxes in the hatchback trunk area of my Honda Fit. My partner and I were at a stoplight, discussing how we would decorate our room, when we heard a very loud horn and then immediately felt the impact of another car crashing against us.
We were rear ended with the other car going full speed (45 mph), so I still don’t know how we walked away with only some rear bumper and hatchback door damage. Especially once I saw the other driver’s car. Their Nissan was severely damaged – both of the airbags deployed, the entire front bumper and hood were crunched up like a squeezebox, and the engine was smoking. I pulled off to the side of the road to exchange insurance information and check on the other driver. He pulled over slightly behind me, still in the road, got halfway out of his car, and began to yell at me like it was my fault that he hit me.
I asked for the driver’s info and took out my own insurance card, but he said he didn’t have his on him. He claimed it was at his house up the street and said we needed to follow him there. I told him I wasn’t super comfortable with that and would prefer to at least get his contact info to follow up, and that’s when he got back in his car and drove off. His airbags were puffed out like Jiffy Pop foil and his headlights were barely hanging on, but still, he sped away.
Hit and run. This was the first time it has ever happened to me and I felt confused and angry and unsure of what to do next. Fortunately, Matias was there and caught a partial plate number along with the make and model of the vehicle. We drove the short distance home (keeping our eyes open for the other driver’s messed up car) and called the police and insurance company when we arrived at our new place.
No word yet from the cops or the insurance folks, but I am happy to report that my car is still drivable and the IKEA boxes were unharmed. I, unfortunately, have whiplash, a headache, and back pain. I also had to miss a couple days of work and take my move-in process more slowly than I would prefer, so this is certainly another large and expensive inconvenience.
Speaking of large and expensive inconveniences, as you may have read on Intern Courtney’s recent post, St. Edna the Sex Ed Mobile bit the dust as we were driving into Portland on the final day of my national sex ed teaching tour. The good news is that Edna got us close to home and didn’t die out in the middle of the New Mexico desert. The bad news is that her engine is completely shot and she is not able to be driven right now.
I am distraught and very anxious about Edna. She isn’t just my mascot, she is a huge part of my traveling sex education business and she was my home and mode of transportation for four and a half months. This is a huge loss and it creates a lot of major questions:
-Should I try to get Edna fixed up even though it will cost me a lot of money I do not have?
-Should I organize a fundraising event and/or crowdfunding campaign to get her a new engine?
-Should I focus on putting in more internal cosmetic work on Edna and rent her out to tourists as a cute and affordable Airbnb option? (And not even worry about her engine right now?)
-Should I lay Edna to rest aka sell her as a “mechanic’s special” and use that small amount of money to go toward a teardrop trailer that I can customize and haul with my Honda Fit (after that gets repaired, of course)? Can I even afford a tiny trailer right now?
I wish I had plenty of time to weigh all of the options, but I have more classes to teach and travel plans coming up in November, so I have to figure it out soon. Eep!
It is hard to not feel cursed lately; like someone has a voodoo doll of me/my vehicles and is gleefully stabbing away at them. However, I know that this is just another setback I will survive. Everyone likes to tell me that this means good things are coming, that the crap has reached a tipping point and soon it will crap somewhere else and only rain goodness and financial success upon me. I sure do hope all of those optimists are right. 😉
For now, I am focused on moving into my new apartment and enjoying life off the road for a couple weeks. I will be using this time to launch my podcast, get more sponsors, and work on a highly entertaining top secret project that will be revealed on my first episode. Even though stressful things have been piling up, wonderful things are on the horizon. That is what keeps me going.
Well, that and the new Pumpkin & Spice Triscuit. Call me a “basic bitch” and make fun of me all you want for loving on pumpkin spice, but these little cracker buddies are subtle and delicious and pair really well with cheddar cheese, fig jam, and pretty much everything in my cabinets. Let me have this simple pleasure, y’all. I need it.
Until next time,
P.S. I had a great time at kink camp and can’t wait to write/talk about it! Please stay tuned for a future post about my four day intimate kink retreat and all of the new things I got to try, learn, and teach!
Amory Jane is currently at a kink retreat called Boundless and will be returning to Portland (and this blog) on October 5th. Since she is off learning new things to teach at her future classes, getting to know some needles, gazing at the stars, and frolicking/flogging in the woods, she hasn’t had reliable access to the internet to post any updates. So, I am here to deliver some deets to you! Here’s what’s up:
– St. Edna the Sex Ed Mobile is very sick. Amory Jane and her travel companions were driving back into Portland when Edna started making very weird noises. Her engine died suddenly on the side of the highway just 20 minutes outside of Portland and she had to get towed away by AAA. Fortunately, the team made it back to Portland and Edna didn’t shut down on top of a mountain or in the middle of the desert or something. Unfortunately, Edna has complete engine failure and will need some expensive repairs. AJ is still weighing all of her options, but is considering launching a campaign and/or throwing a sex-positive fundraising event to get Edna back out on the road. In the meantime, AJ is traveling the country in a much smaller (but equally cute) sex ed mobile – her purple Honda Fit.
– Amory Jane has some rad classes coming up this Fall, including a new one on Sex and Cannabis! There might even be some free cannabis lube samples in it for you! Details can be found on the She Bop website.
– Amory Jane will be traveling through California this November and still has a little bit of room left in her schedule. If you would like to book a workshop, private party, or coaching session in that time, give her a shout! Her dates in California are early to mid-November and she will be visiting the Bay Area, Los Angeles, and everywhere nearby and in-between.
– Yes, AJ did get the donuts she asked for. She put it out into the universe and it came to her (and by that I mean her intern dutifully got them for her).
I don’t know about you, but I am SO stoked for what the future has to hold! Stay tuned to the blog for detailed accounts of Amory Jane’s final few days of her recent teaching tour, St. Edna’s prognosis, and tales from kink camp!